by KALEY MCLAIN
Well it’s about that time of the year again. Time to throw out the razor blades and slip on the long pants because things are about to get a little hairy. November doesn’t only bring the warm fall breezes drifting through the air, but it also encompasses the idea that we as animals should tap into our natural growth and not shave. It’s a drastic change to signal the start of a new season, even if it be one whisker at a time.
We witness the young boys walking through the campus and rapidly transform miraculously into beastly men; and the girls, climbing up a similar tree, don’t seem to mind attempting to hide the fact that their once baby-soft legs have turned into a cloak of fully-knitted sweaters. As if the student body has decided to embrace the customs of the bear during hibernation, we prepare ourselves for the winter days ahead with the overlaying worry that we won’t be able to keep ourselves warm for another couple of harsh Visalia months. But what on Earth had started this fandom? People from around the world have contributed a key list of how to complete such an outlandish task and have even gone as far as to create some minor rules:
The No Shave Rules Calendar
Everyone, young and old, male and female can participate in No-Shave-November by following this simple calendar of guidelines. The festivities shall unfold thusly:
November 1: Razors are stowed, indifference ignited. Noshember begins.
November 1-7: The week of scratching that itch. Push yourself, control the desire to shave.
November 14: Finally the men don’t look ridiculous (boys may look ridiculous).
November 14: Finally the women do look ridiculous.
Thanksgiving: Quoth Flan: “Moms and grandmothers just don’t understand.”
November 27: Finally the boys or follicularly-challenged do look ridiculous.
November 30: Photograph day. Take your best hair exhibiting celebration photos. You have truly completed something great.
Dec 1: Great festival of many razors, shaving commences.
It’s safe to say El Diamante will full-heartedly participate in the league of legendary mane, but let’s just hope, for the sake of anyone with average vision, that even the burliest of beards won’t fully ruin this holiday season.